Let the real Slim Shady please stand up

There is much confusion as to nomenclature of the various instruments in different languages. ...most instruments referred to today as flügelhorns are actually soprano saxhorns. @ In truth, the flugelhorn has been extinct for some time. @

...we long ago let the "real" trumpet (the natural trumpet as used in the Baroque Period) be replaced by a soprano valve trombone, and that today's orchestras and bands are missing what could be a gorgeous additional voice, the true trumpet. @

The modern Bb trumpet is not a trumpet... The real Bb trumpet, in fact, is and always has been the Eb contra-alto trumpet whose useable range is identical to the Bb cornet. @

Torricelli’s trumpet is obviously not a ‘real’ trumpet, it is a 2D surface which is described by the equation x²(y²+z²)-1 = 0, x belongs to [1,∞) and can be formed by rotating the curve xy=1 around the x axis by 2π. @

By the way, a bazooka is not only a weapon, but also a wind instrument!

While a trumpet is not only an instrument, but sometimes a weapon:
Musical Instrument Adapted to Emit a Controlled Flame

This trumpet includes a gas cartridge and spark mechanism triggered by the musician. The gas is routed so that a flame is emitted from the bell of the instrument. @ @